Op-Expat

The Austrians are a very formal people. I’m not entirely sure why and as a woman from Southern California, I struggle with the rules of formality.

When Austrians meet one another, they exclusively use the last name. It’s as if the first name doesn’t exist. On the phone, “May I please speak with Mrs. Pichler?” Receiving letters from any institution, “Dear Mrs. Pichler.” Going to a meeting and picking up your nametag for the event, “Pichler of ABC company.” Visiting your doctor, “How are you feeling Mrs. Pichler?” I have never heard my last name so many times before in my life!

It gets worse.

In the German language, there is a formal way and an informal way to say the word “you.” Slip and use the wrong form of “you” and you risk offending someone. The hard part with this formal/informal way of speaking is when to use which form!

At the beginning it’s easy. If you don’t know someone and have just been introduced, you use the formal way of saying “you.” That level of certainty lasts all of five minutes. Here’s the problem. You get introduced, you start chatting and you hit it off. It’s a great conversation and you’re laughing and having a good time together like old buddies. Er…are you still on a formal level with this person? Do you now refer to this person in the formal, or informal?

The good conversation would indicate that you can start using the informal because you have built rapport. The time from introduction to the conversation means the continued use of the formal. Now you think, oh god, do I sound like an idiot if I continue to use the formal? Am I overstepping a boundary if I use the informal?

To actually get to use the informal way of saying “you” you have to ask for permission from the other person. This is a risk because your level of formality and the other person’s can be completely different. You have to feel this one out.

Ikea, the furniture store that we all love, has the most scandalous ads in Austria. They use the informal way of saying “you” in their ads! The Austrians were horrified! Due to their low prices and great design, Ikea seems to have gotten away with it. No other company that I have seen thus far dares to use the same tactic though.

As if referring to people primarily by last name and in the formal way of saying “you” isn’t tiring enough, Austrians have a love of titles. I don’t mean a title like duke, baron, or knight. Nope. I mean doctor, lawyer, engineer, or master’s degree. Yes, they have a title for a master’s degree.

A title is so important in Austria that once received, it actually becomes part of your name! If I were to receive a master’s degree, I would have to formally change my name with the government to Master’s Degree Britta Pichler. And let me tell you, these people slap their title all over the place. Email signatures, letters, business cards, everywhere!

I’m embarrassed to admit, but on my German resume my name is written out as B.S. Pichler Britta. The B.S. stands for Bachelor of Science people, let’s keep our minds out of the gutter! Though a Bachelor’s degree does not receive a title the way a master’s degree does, it still counts for something. I was advised by an Austrian to do it.

So how do I survive in such a formal culture? Easy. The Austrians are just as confused by it as I am. Yesterday I met with a business partner and we were chatting amiably. I slipped and referred to him in the informal. I threw my hands up in despair and said sorry for the slip, I just didn’t know when to use what. He laughed and said he didn’t either. I then asked if we could use the informal to refer to one another and he thought it was a fine idea. Whew, got away with it with at least one person!

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In Austria, greetings seem to be very important. I cannot count how many times in a day I get either “Hello” or “Good-bye” in whatever form. Let me tell you of a typical day filled with greetings.

I get up, get ready, and walk to the bus. The bus driver nods in my direction to indicate a greeting.

I ride to work and arrive at my company’s building. The doorman calls out “Good morning.” I get on the elevator and about eight people fill it, including myself. There is usually no hello. I guess people are reserving their strength. At each stop, as each person gets out, they toss a “Good-bye” over their shoulder. Everyone in the elevator responds in kind. “Good-bye” “Good-bye” “Good-bye” “Good-bye” “Good-bye” “Good-bye” “Good-bye” This happens at every floor. I happen to work on the 17th floor so I usually get the full effect of that many greetings. The first time I experienced the phenomenon, I almost laughed out loud. It was just too funny!

I walk into my office and greet the receptionist. My co-workers filter in and we greet one another. This is standard procedure. I have all together 11 co-workers.

During the day I will call a few vendors to check up on things. Usually marketing people are on a friendly basis with vendors because we work so closely together. Calling someone with whom you are on a friendly basis gets really strange. Due to caller ID, my vendor knows it’s me calling and greet me something like, “Hellobrittahow’sitgoinghiiii!!!” Yes, three greetings in one breath. I know when I call an Austrian to not say a word for about the first five seconds. The person has to get through rattling off saying hello to me!

The discussion will occur and as the conversation comes to an end I might get something like “Byebyechaiokisses!!!!” God forbid I say good-bye as well because that will just ignite the whole greeting process over again of “Byebyechaiobye!!” and then the click of the phone. Whew!

Now image if that is the phone greeting process, what the in-person greeting process is between two people who are on a friendly level. If a vendor comes in, it’s the same thing face-to-face but more complicated. It involves the Continental form of greeting which is air kisses to the cheek. Each Austrian is different and this can get awkward. The vendor comes in and calls out “Hellobrittahow’sitgoinghiiii!!!” and comes in for either one, two or three air-kisses to the cheeks. Maw, Maw, Maw! A lot of the times I get more than one vendor coming in. Sometimes I get two or three at a time. “Hellobrittahow’sitgoinghiiii!!!” Maw, Maw, Maw! “Hellobrittahow’sitgoinghiiii!!!” Maw, Maw, Maw! “Hellobrittahow’sitgoinghiiii!!!” Maw, Maw, Maw! Eeee gad!

When lunch time comes around I try to get out of the office for a bit and get some fresh air. I will jump in the elevator and ride it down. Lunch time is always high traffic and as others get in the elevator they will say to me in a form of greeting “Mahlzeit.” Directly translated this means “Meal time.” So I get about four to five “Meal time.” “Meal time.” “Meal time.” “Meal time.” As I walk out of the elevator the doorman calls out to me “Meal time!” As if I didn’t know!

After lunch it is the same process coming back into my work building as it is in the morning. Hello from the doorman, good-byes from my fellow elevator riders.

Don’t forget, at the end of the day, I need to take the elevator back down. The end of the day also includes a series of good-byes.

Then of course I need to ride the bus home and the bus driver gives me a nod of greeting.

As I step out of the bus and start my short walk home, I stop by a grocery store. Nothing is more alluring than fresh bread. I walk into the grocery store and an employee always calls out “Hello!” and when exiting the grocery store, a “Good-bye” is the last thing I hear.

Finally I manage to make my way into my apartment. My cat comes running and calls out “Meow!” Okay, okay, he just wants to get fed, but still!

You might think this whole thing of greetings is a bit crazy. I know at the beginning I did. The triple greeting among people who are friendly with one other can get a bit exhausting.

Once I thought about it though, I decided I liked it. I realized how friendly the Austrians can be. I interpret it as acknowledging the other human beings that surround you. That, I think is rather nice.

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