In July I went back to L.A. to visit. Through the wonder of technology I can stay in contact with my friends and family almost for free (http://www.skype.com/welcomeback/ is a wonderful thing). So when I saw everyone it was a quick hug and back to whatever subject we had discussed a few days ago through email or on the internet phone with Skype. It was a visit like any other a year ago when I was living in L.A.
What did surprise me however, was getting an outsider’s view of Los Angeles. I was born and raised in L.A. and went to college in Orange County. Southern California has always been my home. Now that I have spent 10 months adapting to a new environment, I was, for the first time in my life, getting an outsider’s view of my hometown.
Due to jetlag I was bight-eyed and bushy tailed at 5:30 every morning for the first few days after I had arrived. By 8:00 I was rearing to go, so I grabbed my parents dog and went for a walk on the beach. Despite it being the morning of 4th of July, I thought the beach would be pretty deserted. I mean, who gets up early enough to be at the beach at 8:00a.m. on one of the few holidays that the United States has except for surfers? Well, apparently a lot of people. A lot of people who are not suffering from jetlag and therefore have no excuse to be awake, let alone chipper. As I started out on my walk, people very casually and warmly would call out a ‘Hello’ or ‘Good morning’ and smile pleasantly. In annoyance I thought, ‘What the hell are these people so damn happy about?’ And I caught myself! There it was. This was the impression non-Californians got of Californians! This was how people had viewed me a little less than a year ago. No wonder they think California is truly the Golden State. It must be great living here, if everyone is so happy. Guess what people, Californians don’t have a better life than you do just because they live in CA. Their life is just like yours. This is just a cultural difference. Californians are, oh how do I explain this right, are happier on the surface. That doesn’t mean that they are artificial Stepford wives. It’s more like a don’t burden others with my problems kind of attitude. Yes, there it is. We don’t burden one another with a bad mood.
Lucky for me, 10 months isn’t that long to be away from Los Angeles and I quickly fell into my old routine again. I chirped ‘Good morning’ back and even stopped to chat with a couple about their King Charles Spaniel dog. I was back in the groove. I was a Californian again.
Overall the visit was very good and after being there almost three weeks, I was more than ready to head back to Vienna. It was clear that my life wasn’t here in L.A. any more. I was eager to get back to my new apartment, my new job and an exciting trip to Paris to celebrate my one year wedding anniversary.
Though I didn’t know it, I was up for one more big surprise. Once I was back in Vienna, I had a major wave of homesickness that I couldn’t shake for days. I would pick up my digital camera often and look through the photos I had taken to see the smiling faces of my friends and family. My heart would squeeze and tears would well up so suddenly I would have to gasp for breath to keep them from spilling over. Oh, how it hurt all over again to leave those people. It is such a vital time in everyone’s life right now. Friends are getting married, are buying homes, and are having children. Weddings, baby showers and house-warming parties are being thrown and life milestones are being celebrated. And I’m here missing out on all the fun. There is a lot of glamour and fun to being an expatriate, but there are some challeneges too.
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