Op-Expat

This was one thing I didn’t think about before moving to another country and becoming an expat. Making new friends. I thought about how much I will miss my Los Angeles friends. I was determined and found out ways to stay in contact with them (Skype.com). But having virtual friendships (as that’s what they are now) only get you so far. In the end, I cannot meet a LA friend for lunch in the Inner City of Vienna.

Now that I am settled in my adopted home in Vienna, Austria, I’ve been on the quest to make new friends. It’s strange to be out looking for friends at my age. I mean, I’ve known my Los Angeles friends for a minimum of five years. I have established relationships with them. Now I’m starting from scratch.

How does one go about looking for friends? I made all of my friends while in school. But I’m not in school anymore. I’ve never been too keen on making friends with my co-workers. I’ve always liked my co-workers, but I see enough of these fine people during the week, thank you very much.

At first I reached out through my husband, who IS currently in school. He preselected these people and brought them home. We have fun together, but I don’t care for the idea of someone else pre-selecting my friends for me.

Paul also has family here in Vienna. We spend some time with them, but there is an air of obligation. As if they feel sorry for us because we have no where else to go. Not the most comfortable feeling.

I have an Austrian friend in Vienna. We’ve known each other for years. Karin is great, a real sweetheart. She’s tried to bring me into her circle of friends, but in the end, there are language and cultural barriers that neither side knows how to get through. Whenever I spend time with Karin, again, I feel that there is an air of obligation. Who wants to be a burden to hang out with?

My lovely Los Angeles friends told me in a caring way that I needed to take up a hobby. My thought process was, Why? My job is my hobby. (Okay, not the healthiest thought process but there it is). That, and I am not a joiner of groups. It’s just not my thing.

At least though, the suggestion sank in over a course of six months and I found a happy medium. I joined not one group, but two. I joined two professional business women associations. I said a happy medium! And I have to admit, I am very happy that I joined these two groups. One is an English speaking group and the other is a German speaking group. The women are fun, intelligent, go-getters and I just like them. These ladies really just like to spend time with the group and attend interesting lectures about the business world.

So far it seems there is an opportunity to forge friendships with the women of the two groups I joined. I haven’t found a shopping buddy yet, but who knows.

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