While at work the other day, I was having some computer problems. I called IT support and a man named Chris answered. He asked me to give him my computer work station ID (so he could know what desktop I was working on). When I spell things out, I usually use the “A” like apple technique.
My work station happens to have the letter “V” in it. So I said, “V” like Vogel, which means bird. For whatever reason I find this word difficult to pronounce (why I chose to use it is beyond me) so I repeated it a few times, “V like Vogel, voooogel, vogeeeel.”
Seems innocent enough right? But when “Vogel” is used as a verb, it is a very crude way to describe, ah-hem, how shall I put it, hopping in the sack? Bumping boots? Doing the wild thing? Basically what I was repeating into the phone was “F***ing” “F***ing” “F***ing”
To make matters worse, Chris the IT guy said that he needed to stop by my office to look at my computer personally. He asked where my office was, and I announced, “On the sixth floor, around the corner, where the three beautiful women sit.”
Surprisingly (or not since he is an IT guy) Chris didn’t crack a smile, but as I was laying the phone down, I heard my two female office mates dying of laughter. One was kind enough to explain what I had actually been saying into the phone and suggested that I use “V” like Viktor in the future.
It ain’t easy being an expat.
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The layout of an Austrian office is different than in the U.S. There are no cube farms here. They have a long hallway with many offices. Each office will hold either 2, 4, 6, 8 people usually. Of course, upper management has their own office.
I never thought I would say this, but I miss my cubicle. At least in a cube there was hustle and bustle. People were moving, talking with one another, and answering the phone. There was noise and activity.
When I first came to Austria and saw that I would be in an office rather than a cubicle I thought, Cool. But now I feel the downside to this perk. I call it office fever. It’s like island fever (for Austrian readers, island fever means feeling restless due to an environment that is always the same). Every day for 9 hours I am in my office with the same two people. Now don’t get me wrong. These two are nice people. But 9 hours a day. 5 days a week. I can’t be around my husband for that long!
I know you are thinking, well, you have to have more than 2 co-workers. And I do. But everyone is in their own office. With the door shut. Austrians love to have shut doors. So even though I travel through the halls, doors are shut and interaction with others is minimal.
Office Fever.
I am trying to interact with other co-workers, but the barrier of the door is intimidating. When I do reach out (email with a 15 minute coffee break invitation) I just kind of get a weird look, like the person is wondering why I want to have a coffee break with them. Like they are wondering what I want. What I want? A little human interaction!
My two officemates are nice to me and let me keep our office door open once in awhile. I’ve explained the reason for it, that I just need the background noise, and they let it go. Maybe I’ll start a trend!
Closed Office Doors
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At least living in a desirable location tempts friends and family to come visit. My parents, brother and his wife, and almost all of my friends have come to visit me. Despite living here, I always struggle to put a daily sightseeing tour together for my guests. Finally I just put it down on paper, and whip it out whenever people show up. I include days of the week because some places in the city are better during the week or weekend. I also group sights together according to location to avoid zigzagging through the city.
Weekday – Tour of the Inner City. Start at Karlsplatz and walk down Kartnerstraße. Remind your guests to look up to see the beautiful architecture. Enter Stephansdom and tell your guests to make a round of the cathedral. Then tell them to go to the top to get a good view of the city. Walk Am Graben and explain the statue in the middle is a tribute to surviving the black plague. Check out the pretty Peter’s Church. Tell them about the underground bathrooms Am Graben and encourage them to take a look. Walk your guests to Café Central for a break. Then head on over to the Hofburg and encourage them to take a tour. Grab a streetcar that circles the Ring and explain all the buildings. At Schwedenplatz get out and take the U1 to Donauinsel. Let your guests see the mighty Danube. On the way back, get out at Praterstern and have your guests ride the Riesenrad. Jump back in the U1 to exit Karlsplatz again and eat anywhere in the Inner City (example: Palmenhaus) so your guests can see the Inner City at night.
Saturday – go to Naschmarkt to see the Fleamarket as well as the food market. Go to Schönbrunn and encourage your guests to take a tour and walk the gardens. Take a break either at the Gloriette or Dommayer café. Go to the Technical Museum if you have male guests, they seem to like that kind of thing. If you have female guests, go to Mariahilferstraße to go shopping, they seem to like that kind of thing. Go to dinner at a Heurigen. Apologize to your guests when they have digestive problems from all the greasy food. Or just tell them to drink more to burn the fat away.
Sunday – Choose either the performance of the Spanish Riding School, see my post about that here, or the Vienna Boys Choir. Go to Kunsthistorische Museum and encourage your guests to take a tour. The guides are awesome. If the weather is nice, choose a pretty garden to walk through and sit comfortable in a coffeehouse.
I think that sums Vienna up, unless you have other suggestions.
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Okay, here is where the Austrians excel. Recycling is such a big part of life that what Americans refer to as, “Going Green” the Austrians do as part of their daily lives.
Throughout the city of Vienna you will see recycling bins everywhere. So if you are a tourist and bought a bottle of water, hang on to it until you see a trashcan that lets you separate your waste. You won’t wait long, I promise.
Right outside my apartment complex are HUGE recycling bins that take paper, glass, plastic, and cans. I just hoof it out and separate things quickly and easily.
When I was still living in the U.S. Paul and I had to drive to the recycling center, pray that the center was open, wait in a long line, and then finally hand over our recyclables. I was so fed up with the process, that I stopped doing it after the second or third time. Paul and I try pretty hard to be environmentally friendly (we don’t have a clothing dryer to reduce our energy usage and unplug EVERYTHING) but the system in the U.S. failed even us.
What does come as a surprise however is the debate going on over here about the energy-saving light bulbs. There are many articles flying around about them and how they are expensive and how you have to wait for them to brighten to their full potential. Who cares? Just be happy that you can turn a switch and get electricity!
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Apparently I am perceived as rude by my Austrian co-workers sometimes. Oops!
In an earlier post that I wrote right when I came to Vienna, “Greetings in Vienna” I mention how you cannot over-greet an Austrian. You say hello and good-bye what seems like a million times.
Apparently I forgot my own observations. I had a meeting scheduled with my boss this morning. I walked into his office, sat down, and got started talking to get to the heart of the meeting right away. He looked at me a bit funny and I asked if everything was okay. He said, in quite straight-forward Austrian style, “You know what I don’t like that you do? Sometimes you don’t take a moment to just chat. You also don’t sign off on your emails. It’s abrupt. But it’s okay, I know that you are a nice person anyway.”
I paused for a bit. I had to give the guy credit. He was right. My head is so clouded with work that I forget to say a quick, “How are you” before starting a meeting. Another Austrian co-worker had commented as well that I didn’t sign off on my emails all the time.
So back to lesson one when I first got here. You can’t greet an Austrian enough.
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The Americans can’t hold a candle next to the Austrians when it comes to partying. The Austrians know how to put together an event, make it fun, and have it last the entire night.
Events and parties are usually pretty well scheduled. Not that they are ridged, but the Austrians plan how they are going to entertain their guests. If things are going slow, or winding down, the host will usually have something to do to keep the guests going. It can be an organized poker game, a dance party, a drinking game, a contest… the list is endless.
The host also has a tendency to fill your glass or provide an insane amount of liquor so you lose count of how much you have had to drink. People falling over in a drunken stupor aren’t an odd sight at a big party. The host just kept filling the glass and the person lost count.
It helps too that most establishments in Austria stay open the entire night. It’s not like in L.A. where last call is at 2a.m. and the location has to throw out its guests. Crawling out of a dance club while the sun is going up isn’t strange for an Austrian.
Austrians are also very warm, welcoming hosts. The other guests are usually very friendly. If you are a guest at a party, it’s generally easy to slide up to a group and start a conversation.
One thing I do find amusing is that Austrians never seem to go home. If you are hosting a party and an Austrian is invited, expect that person to be the last to leave. What can I say, they love to party!
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I’ve been an expat for 2 years now and homesickness is still a battle that I fight. Just when I think I’ve got it beaten down, it’ll blow up in my face.
A very good friend of mine got married yesterday. We’re part of a close group, making up 5 women all together. If you’ve ever read “Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood” you’ll understand the importance of this group of women to me. We call ourselves the DGs because, don’t laugh, we met and were part of a sorority in college. Though our university days are long behind us, we just don’t care, we still refer to ourselves as DGs.
Our husbands seem to get our relationship and really support us. While my friend was getting married (and the other DGs were of course bridesmaids) the DG husbands (as we refer to these poor souls) used their camera phones to take pictures and email them to me while the wedding was going on. Sweet and perfect, no?
But while viewing these photos, I just broke down and cried. Obviously I couldn’t see myself anywhere, even though in my mind, that was exactly where I was supposed to be. This is a pain I just can’t get over. I just don’t know how…
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I was grocery shopping the other day. I wanted to cook some chicken so made my way over to the meat department. I was looking things over when I saw…wait for it… a bag of chicken hearts. A lot of them. In one bag. What do you do with chicken hearts? Ugh…
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