I’ve been in Vienna now over two years. Over this time period, it has crept up on me that I have adopted more Austrian cultural ways than I had originally noticed.
This has become apparent over the last two weeks as I have run into other Californians in Vienna. One I met at a networking event. We were introduced and we started chatting. We hit it off and had a really nice conversation. In typical California style to show companionship, she reached out to wrap an arm around me for a casual hug. We Californians are huggers for whatever reason. It’s like the Continental air kiss. Everyone does it. I guess I have been out of CA long enough, because in reaction, I stiffened in surprise. The poor friendly woman noticed right away and pulled her arm off of me as if burned. I felt so bad! I just had a typical Austrian reaction to a typical Californian action. What the heck? Had this same exact situation happened to me two years ago, my automatic reaction would have been to lean into the hug and hug back. Am I losing my Californication?
Another similar situation happened to me again on Friday. I had met this other Californian woman a time or two. When I saw her on Friday, I walked up to her and air kissed her just as she opened her arms for a hug. She exclaimed “Oh!” and air kissed me back in surprise. Oops!
Now I’m culturally confused. How am I to greet not only other Californians, but other Americans?
A recent friend of mine is from the (American) Mid-West. Every time we met up, upon greeting, we stood a bit awkwardly and just said a lame, “Hi.” We didn’t know whether to hug in greeting or air kiss, so we just left it at nothing. Finally, we got sick of the lukewarm greeting and have just adopted the air kiss, but I think that’s because we’ve both been here for the same amount of time.
It ain’t easy being an expat.
Californication – I think what the Pepper’s meant when they coined the term was the use of emotion and fake genuineness for personal or business gain. They were thinking of the Hollywood moguls who use and discard as best for themselves only. Until now, I hadn’t heard the term used to refer to genuine CA warmth (which I do think actually exists).
For me, a hug between friends seems like a real exchange. I can’t help but think of the overly perfumed Aunts of my youth when air kissing – ick! Of course, when in Vienna I do it too, but it doesn’t seem as real or sincere as the CA hug which is even something that CA guys do amongst ourselves at this point. A good thing I think.
So true!! I am Californian and a recent expat as well, it took me a few awkward situations to figure the whole thing out.
As soon as people would say goodbye and lean in, I would hug them without thinking. After that if it was a long chain of goodbyes and I accidentally hugged the first one everyone regarded me like a serial hugger who might fly off the handle at any moment and could not be predicted. They would meekly shuffle to me to say goodbye, and the relief was palpable when I would get it right.
Ha ha Parker. Glad I am not the only one suffering
Hi Ron,
I’m glad the CA guys are hugging. I always hated the “gay” phobia.
I always forget that hugging is a decidedly California thing to do. Whenever we are in London I am accidentally hugging my UK friends — not a problem with women but it totally shocks the men. They get all scared and uncomfortable… I find it amusing and do it anyway.
Hi
just discovered your blog, so so true overall your perception about Vienna..Am from France an din my region, we kiss on the cheeks (twice, in other regions 4 times) and here they shake hands..so imagine, my surprise when last May i was visiting a really good friend of mine in Nice, and she had a dinner party with people I didn’t know. This girl comes towards me to , leaning towards me for the “cheek greetings “ansd what did i do? i stretched my arm and then it occurred to me that i had been living in Vienna for too long. Same but different, alos last christmas, was the only one waiting at the zebra crossing for the little red man to go green although no cars in sight (a truly bad French habit i must admit but still..)
Hi Valerie,
Thanks for reading my blog. Glad someone else is going through the same thing. We just have to laugh at ourselves though, no? =)