Op-Expat

In one of my first blog posts, I wrote about the coffee culture in Vienna here Coffee in Vienna

Just to add to this post I want to talk about coffee milk. It’s milk that you can buy in every grocery store that is specially designed to be added to coffee. What makes this particular milk so special you ask? Why the percent of fat in it of course! Try a whopping 12% fat. Yes!

In case you’re interested in this oh so special milk for your coffee, you can pick up the original from Austrian food company Maresi at any grocery store.

Coffee Milk in Vienna

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One of the things that I find frustrating in Austria is starting friendships with Austrians. They seem to have an attitude of, “What the hell do you want?” when you show some interest and extend an invitation of some sort. I often feel rebuffed when making a light inquiry like going to coffee together.

I think that was one of the reasons for the Starbucks success in the United States. When starting a new friendship in Los Angeles, an invitation to meet up at Starbucks was clearly understood. It read, “I like you and might be interested in a friendship. Let’s see if we are compatible over a cup of coffee.” This worked because a cup of coffee at Starbucks is considered a minor investment of time. It allowed both parties to either stay an hour and realize that there is no potential and go, or stay three hours because the persons understood each other so well.

When I first moved here, I tried to stay away from the American circles. I thought, “I’m here and want to integrate into this culture. The best way to do that is be friends with Austrians.” Much to my frustration, I was regarded with suspicion. I backed away in surprise, thinking I had done something to offend.

When I realized that it was just the Austrian way and stopped taking it personally, I was quickly tired out by the feeling that I had to coax someone to be my friend. Like saying, “It’s okay little guy. I don’t bite. See, I’m not so scary.”
So now that I have become frustrated and worn out by the Austrian friendship hesitation..thing.. I have over the last year directed my efforts to fellow Americans. Within one meeting, I usually have a lunch date planned or a coffeehouse visit scheduled. It’s so easy! For example, just on Wednesday, I met another American woman for the first time. Tonight I am meeting up with her for dinner. We both know it is a casual get-together and don’t anticipate much but a good chat and a little companionship. If the situation grows to a friendship, then we both won something valuable. If it fizzles out, then it fizzles out. No hard feelings.

So here is my plea on the Austrians. If someone is extending a little friendship, think positive and accept the invitation. In my opinion, you can never have too many friends in this life.

friendship in austria

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I’ve been kicking this theory around in my head for quite awhile now, and am finally ready to write about it.

It comes back to the topic of people asking me how I could possibly leave L.A. in favor of Vienna. I always say it’s because I like it here. They always ask what it is exactly that I like.

This is one of the things that I really like about Vienna. People here are a lot more mellow than they are in L.A.

Los Angeles is populated with the best and brightest the world has to offer. Think about it. People all over the world have a fascination for L.A. Those who are the most ambitious, the hardest working, the brightest, are the ones who are gutsy enough to pack their bags and make their fortune else where. That could be other American who live in the  middle of  nowhere and don’t see the job opportunities that they want. That would be Chinese immigrants. Austrians. Cubans. Russians. Mexicans. People who look around and think, “I want more than what I see here.”

These people are the ones that move to cities like London, Tokyo, Hong Kong, New York, Los Angeles and other cities like them. They are the ones that are programmed somehow to always think, “I want more.” So when they land in L.A. they aren’t thinking, “I’ve made it.” They are thinking, “The work has just started.” The drive that these people have is constant and never ending.

That’s what I grew up with. That kind of attitude is what I always thought was the normal way of thinking and acting. Therefore, I was surrounded by people who never thought anything was really good enough. So I drove myself just as hard because that’s all I knew.

When I first came to Vienna and started working, I thought, “What is wrong with these people? How dare they go home so early.” Or I thought, “What do you mean hobby? Who has time for a hobby? My work is my hobby.” I looked at my co-workers and realized that they weren’t trying to one- up each other and thought, “Aren’t they afraid that they aren’t competitive enough in the work world? Aren’t they afraid that they are going to get fired?”

In L.A. you always have to be looking over your shoulder, wondering who is out there ready to push you out of your position. So you drive yourself to be better, faster, hard working than anyone else. Then the next person does the same thing, and the next, and the next, until everyone is utterly consumed by their need to stay competitive.

In Vienna, people don’t have this insane competition. That’s not to say in any way that this city isn’t filled with bright, ambitious people. It’s filled with people who know when to say enough is enough. Who can walk away after a good day of work and feel liked they did well.

I still work very hard because that’s just who I am. It’s an edge to my personality that I never want to lose. But the fear that drove me in L.A. from the out of proportion competition has stayed back in Los Angeles because my co-workers aren’t trying to one-up me. They are trying, and succeeding, to do a good day’s work, and then go home to a normal life. And for that, I am grateful.

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I don’t know what it is about this Vienna, but it energizes me in a way Los Angeles never did.

In L.A. I was always tired. Maybe it was the fast pace. Maybe it was the tough competition. Maybe it was sitting in traffic all the time. I don’t know, but LA just sucked energy from me.

Here in Vienna I feel like I can just go and go and go. Like the energizer bunny. Just not pink. Maybe it’s because I move more in Vienna. I use the public transportation all the time and I walk a lot. Maybe it’s being among people rather than caged away in my car. Maybe it’s being out and seeing that others are doing interesting things.

To be honest, maybe it’s just that Vienna is my kind of town. It’s smaller than L.A. and things aren’t so spread out and therefore, easier to get to. Vienna seems to be accessible. Though accessible, it still manages to be cultured and refined. It manages to say, “I have everything to offer that you could possibly want.”

Except for shopping. For that I have to go back to L.A.

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One of my favorite readers just sent me a personal email in regards to the thoughts my blog and other expats have inspired in him. I’ve posted his thoughts in the past on my blog because I think he makes really good points. Also, I think it is fair to post an Austrian view point. Below you’ll see his comments.

Helimax, his user name, is making a reference to my first ever blog post Fashion – Or the Lack Thereof The rest of his thoughts seem to be something he just wanted to share with us.

Hi Britta!

I was just talking to a friend about Austrians and I thought I should write my thoughts down for you. Maybe you can use them in your blog.

One of the major differences to eg. France or the US is that thereare no ‘ghettos’ – of course there some neighborhoods with more immigrants from ex-Yugoslavia, Turkey, etc.. and some with more poorpeople and some with less and so on, but it is still mixed up. And people don’t stay in their neighborhood. Poor people got to Kärtnertstrasse and native Austrians go to Brunnenmarkt for fresh vegetables etc..

This leads to some points you mentioned in your blog. eg. bad-dressed people. Lower educated or poor people usually dress differently (may call it ‘not so good’). but eg. in Paris you will not see them – they stay in their banlieue. Dress code and knowing how to dress is mainly depending on the social status. So of course in Vienna’s 1st or 19th district the people are generally better dressed, but there are a lot of non-good-dressed people because there are no social- or other barriers for the people with lower status to enter these areas.

Another – for me – big difference between US and Austria is the definition of social-status. In the US money is a big status-factor. In Austria people with money are always ’suspicious’ – ‘where do theyhave the money from?’ ‘is it legal?’ or if you borne with money -everybody thinks you got no problems and anything comes to you without work. In general money is only accepted if someone works really hard for it and is known for doing so – anything else is socially not accepted. that’s why only few people drive really expensive cars. The real rich don’t do it, because the don’t want to be recognized and don’twant to be socially unaccepted. Only the ‘Neureiche’ show their wealthand got therefor a really bad reputation.

On the other side in Austria, reputation is defined by titles, that’s why they are so important. But there are also differences. ‘Real’ titles from universities esp. Mag.,Dipl.Ing. and Dr. have a high reputation because you had to work for some years to earn it. Bachelor, FH-titles, etc.. got quite low reputation. Honorary titles are seen in the mid-range, because you must have done something to get them.

To get back to clothing: if you got a title you don’t have to dress good to show your status. That’s another reason why dressing is considered not so important in Austria.

Some – maybe confusing – thoughts collected from my chat with a non-Austrian friend.

Greetings from the snowy mountains and a happy new year!

Helimax

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