Note that the show is in German.

http://www.musicalvienna.at/index.php/de/spielplan/production/17458

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Germany ranks 8
US ranks 17
Austria ranks 28

Honey! We’re moving to Germany!

The World’s Best Country for Women

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Some of you might roll your eyes and think, duh, but it was really hard to figure out. Austrian women are far better supported by their government then American women. Austrian women also have a tendency to be as assertive as American women. They are also far less suppressed concerning their sexuality than American women.

My husband is Austrian and he doesn’t try to put me in a traditional female role. He’s actually my biggest supporter when it comes to pursuing higher education, my career, and my dreams. When it comes to household duties, he grumbles and drags, but if I ask for him to help out, he does.

Then I started working and dealing with Austrians more. I am surrounded by Austrians at work. This is a great thing because I do need to learn how things are done here, but on the other side, it has presented me with culture shock due to the increased exposure to Austrians.

Oh my, how to explain gender roles in Austria vs. America! It’s not entirely this or that in either society.

Okay here goes. American men are struggling with treating a woman as an equal. It’s no wonder. On one side American society screams that women are equal, but on the other side women aren’t supported by the government to emphasis this statement.

This has left both genders in a black hole when it comes to dealing with one another. Women see the opportunity at being treated equal and are grabbing at it. When they aren’t treated equally, they snap and snarl at men. If they aren’t treated like a lady though, they snap and snarl as well.

American men on the other hand do want women to fulfil a traditional female role, but they also have the attitude of, don’t you dare depend on me, I owe you nothing. I want you to fulfill the traditional female role, but without me fulfilling the traditional masculine role of provider. Neither side is being fair to the other. Neither side is making a clear declaration of what they expect of the other. I think it is because neither side knows what they really want.

Austrian men make it clear that they want a woman to fulfil the traditional female role, but they also make it clear that they will then fulfil the traditional male role of provider and protector.

An example. I was visiting friends and the woman was complaining that her boss was an intolerable idiot. Her Austrian husband waved his hand and declared, “Quit your job and let’s have babies. You don’t have to work, so why go through all this drama.”

His wife let the comment slide. She wasn’t ruffled by it. She knows that she will continue to work because that’s what she wants to do, and that’s that. But I think she took it as reassuring that if things did get bad enough at work, she could quit her job and depend on her husband for support until she figured out another plan, whether it was a career change or in fact having babies. There’s comfort in that reassurance.

I don’t in any way want to say that Austrian men are not supportive of their woman going to work. All Austrian women I know are working. I personally feel supported by my Austrian boss, my Austrian co-workers, and my Austrian husband in my pursuit of a career.

I also feel that Austrian men are very aware that I am female and therefore am treated differently because of it. Exactly how I am treated differently is hard to put my finger on it, but I feel the hyper-awareness of the Austrian men of my femininity. Working in America, I didn’t feel that this was such a topic there as it is here.

It would be enormously interesting to hear comments from you all on this topic, whether you are a man or a woman.

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I think the best market is at The Freyung in the Inner City. The mountain of eggs! You’ve never seen anything like it. Check it out here Ostermarkt Freyung

To celebrate, I’ve set up my Easter tree already. As you can see, I am quite the fan of these little eggs.

Easter Tree in Vienna

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On Friday my husband and I were invited over for a dinner party. Our host, Thomas, noticed that one of his guests only had a few more sips in her wine glass. He called out to her, “Come on, drink up so I can get you a refill.” The woman hastily threw back her glass and gulped down the last sips, much to Thomas’ satisfaction. He jumped up seconds after the glass left her lips and hurried off to the kitchen to get the promised refill.

Now that’s service.

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I think that was one of the reasons for the Starbucks success in the United States. When starting a new friendship in Los Angeles, an invitation to meet up at Starbucks was clearly understood. It read, “I like you and might be interested in a friendship. Let’s see if we are compatible over a cup of coffee.” This worked because a cup of coffee at Starbucks is considered a minor investment of time. It allowed both parties to either stay an hour and realize that there is no potential and go, or stay three hours because the persons understood each other so well.

When I first moved here, I tried to stay away from the American circles. I thought, “I’m here and want to integrate into this culture. The best way to do that is be friends with Austrians.” Much to my frustration, I was regarded with suspicion. I backed away in surprise, thinking I had done something to offend.

When I realized that it was just the Austrian way and stopped taking it personally, I was quickly tired out by the feeling that I had to coax someone to be my friend. Like saying, “It’s okay little guy. I don’t bite. See, I’m not so scary.”
So now that I have become frustrated and worn out by the Austrian friendship hesitation..thing.. I have over the last year directed my efforts to fellow Americans. Within one meeting, I usually have a lunch date planned or a coffeehouse visit scheduled. It’s so easy! For example, just on Wednesday, I met another American woman for the first time. Tonight I am meeting up with her for dinner. We both know it is a casual get-together and don’t anticipate much but a good chat and a little companionship. If the situation grows to a friendship, then we both won something valuable. If it fizzles out, then it fizzles out. No hard feelings.

So here is my plea on the Austrians. If someone is extending a little friendship, think positive and accept the invitation. In my opinion, you can never have too many friends in this life.

friendship in austria

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This has become apparent over the last two weeks as I have run into other Californians in Vienna. One I met at a networking event. We were introduced and we started chatting. We hit it off and had a really nice conversation. In typical California style to show companionship, she reached out to wrap an arm around me for a casual hug. We Californians are huggers for whatever reason. It’s like the Continental air kiss. Everyone does it. I guess I have been out of CA long enough, because in reaction, I stiffened in surprise. The poor friendly woman noticed right away and pulled her arm off of me as if burned. I felt so bad! I just had a typical Austrian reaction to a typical Californian action. What the heck? Had this same exact situation happened to me two years ago, my automatic reaction would have been to lean into the hug and hug back. Am I losing my Californication?

Another similar situation happened to me again on Friday. I had met this other Californian woman a time or two. When I saw her on Friday, I walked up to her and air kissed her just as she opened her arms for a hug. She exclaimed “Oh!” and air kissed me back in surprise. Oops!

Now I’m culturally confused. How am I to greet not only other Californians, but other Americans?

A recent friend of mine is from the (American) Mid-West. Every time we met up, upon greeting, we stood a bit awkwardly and just said a lame, “Hi.” We didn’t know whether to hug in greeting or air kiss, so we just left it at nothing. Finally, we got sick of the lukewarm greeting and have just adopted the air kiss, but I think that’s because we’ve both been here for the same amount of time.

It ain’t easy being an expat.

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For those of you who aren’t in the know, Denglisch is a portmanteau of the German words Deutsch and Englisch. Used in all German-speaking countries, it describes an influx of English, or pseudo-English, vocabulary into the German language. (Yes, I stole that sentence from Wikipedia).

Denglisch in Vienna

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My work station happens to have the letter “V” in it. So I said, “V” like Vogel, which means bird. For whatever reason I find this word difficult to pronounce (why I chose to use it is beyond me) so I repeated it a few times, “V like Vogel, voooogel, vogeeeel.”

Seems innocent enough right? But when “Vogel” is used as a verb, it is a very crude way to describe, ah-hem, how shall I put it, hopping in the sack? Bumping boots? Doing the wild thing? Basically what I was repeating into the phone was “F***ing” “F***ing” “F***ing”

To make matters worse, Chris the IT guy said that he needed to stop by my office to look at my computer personally. He asked where my office was, and I announced, “On the sixth floor, around the corner, where the three beautiful women sit.”

Surprisingly (or not since he is an IT guy) Chris didn’t crack a smile, but as I was laying the phone down, I heard my two female office mates dying of laughter. One was kind enough to explain what I had actually been saying into the phone and suggested that I use “V” like Viktor in the future.

It ain’t easy being an expat.

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Throughout the city of Vienna you will see recycling bins everywhere. So if you are a tourist and bought a bottle of water, hang on to it until you see a trashcan that lets you separate your waste. You won’t wait long, I promise.

Right outside my apartment complex are HUGE recycling bins that take paper, glass, plastic, and cans. I just hoof it out and separate things quickly and easily.

When I was still living in the U.S. Paul and I had to drive to the recycling center, pray that the center was open, wait in a long line, and then finally hand over our recyclables. I was so fed up with the process, that I stopped doing it after the second or third time. Paul and I try pretty hard to be environmentally friendly (we don’t have a clothing dryer to reduce our energy usage and unplug EVERYTHING) but the system in the U.S. failed even us.

What does come as a surprise however is the debate going on over here about the energy-saving light bulbs. There are many articles flying around about them and how they are expensive and how you have to wait for them to brighten to their full potential. Who cares? Just be happy that you can turn a switch and get electricity!

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