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Now that I live in Vienna, I work around the weather every single day. Is it going to rain? For how long can I still wear my flip flops?

So instead of sitting here indoors and writing a decent blog post, I am going back outside to drink in the warmth, light, and beauty of the dog days of summer. Till next week.

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So what happened while I was back in L.A., my hometown? Well, within four hours of being there I got a speeding ticket. Within one day of being there I got in a traffic jam on the freeway. Within one week of being there I got in a car accident (idiot hit me while I was completely stopped!).

I did however gobble down as much Mexican food as I could. I visited with all my friends and hung out with my family I obsessively went to the beach to take walks and drink in the beauty that is the ocean. I shopped because the economy is still crummy and everything is so cheap.

As the two week trip was winding down, I looked at my husband and said, “I’m ready to go back to Vienna.”

But wait, it gets better. Once back in Vienna, I had no homesickness. This was a new revelation for me! I wrote about home sickness here Low Point for an Expat and this is really exciting. I just might have hit expat nirvana after being an expat for exactly 3 years. So maybe that’s how long it takes to really settle in to your new home.

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Dear Austria, thank you for being so eco-friendly. I appreciate it. I admire it. I hate it (right now). Go ahead and give me an awesome public transportation system. Go ahead and make me walk (don’t need a gym membership). Go ahead and make me separate my trash 4 different ways. Go ahead and make me buy energy efficient light bulbs and appliances (thanks, I save money). But for the love of god, do not take my air conditioning away.

I come into work a snarling beast because my U-Bahn ride was hot. I won’t go to lunch with my co-workers unless the restaurant has air conditioning. My husband has to call me home from work because I’d rather stay there (where there is air conditioning) than sit in a hot apartment. So what do I suggest? That we get a friggin’ air conditioning unit. Typical Austrian, he says no(!).

This is torture. Do I now need to flee Vienna twice a year rather than only once (February of course)? I was complaining to another American about this and he made a good suggestion. Now is the time to visit the mountains. It’s gotta be at least 5 degrees coolor there, right? Usually I avoid the mountains because we L.A. folk get a nose bleed if the air quality is too pure, but I might re-consider.

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Come on people! This is disgusting. When I am in the U-bahn or out and about and someone walks by or stands next to me and stinks, I stagger back in shock and have to fight my gag reflex. 

Body odor is inexcusable in today’s society of, uh, ready access to clean water. Showers. Washing machines. Deodorant. Soap.

I don’t care why some people stink. I don’t want to hear accuses or explanations. Be considerate and have some self respect. Shower and wash your clothes, like the rest of us.

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http://images.businessweek.com/ss/10/06/0622_most_expensive_cities/25.htm

New York was #29 and Los Angeles wasn’t even on the list.

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http://www.figls.at/- fancy neo Austrian, very good service and food, some of the best ribs i had
http://www.fischerbraeu.at/ – typical Austrian beer house, good eats, good beer, very unpretentious, mixed crowds from students to seniors, we go there when we don’t want to cook, are hungry and don’t want to spend a lot
http://www.7stern.at/ – also very famous for its beer, order the skillets, gotten a bit touristy lately
http://www.plachutta.at/(there is also one around Schönbrunn) – very traditional Viennese cuisine, fancy, turn of century aura
http://www.weinhof-zimmermann.at/- Heurigen Klassiker, beautiful setting among the winery hills.
http://www.figlmueller.at/ – if you must eat in the 1st district, then only here.  very busy, reservation only.
http://www.bierig.at/intro_2.htm- one of the best price/grub/service ratios in Vienna, they have three locations, we go to the one in Spittelau, love their outdoor seating
http://www.caffelatte.at/neubau/aktuell.html- very good coffee, great weekend brunches, you can eat there for free on your b’day
http://www.himmel.at/oktogon/indexf.html – this is the one next to the tree circle, great cakes and lattes
http://www.feuerwehrwagner.at/- this one has the best roast chicken in Vienna, very nice Heurigen setting
http://tupalo.com/en/vienna/hanil-running-sushi- this is the running sushi at Naschmarkt that I told you about
http://www.lokalfuehrer.at/?site=detail&id=1505&show=tf – this is the running sushi in the 8th, has more variety on other than sushi dishes
http://www.blueorange.co.at/- if you ever want a decent muffin or bagel, great coffee to go with it too, they are in the 9th or close to the Naschmarkt, sells Ben&Jerry ice cream too
http://www.rocky-docky.at/ – very good steaks, haven’t tried the burgers but I’m sure they are good
http://www.santacruz.at/- it’s a far cry from the mexican food we know but it’s always fresh and good if you have a craving for it.  their ribs are famous but i don’t like them, too greasy and too much garlic. it’s in the Prater so if you are there it’s worth stopping by, they are always open in summer.

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But even taking these precautions, I would not expose myself to the public in Los Angeles like I do in Vienna. When I try to explain to Austrians how dangerous Los Angeles really is, they cannot comprehend it. I have to roll up my sleeves and explain very specific stories to get them to understand about 10% of what I am talking about.

It goes something like this. Weekend news in LA. 20 people shot this weekend in a part of the city that is only 30 minutes away from where you live. Kidnapping. Theft by gunpoint. Rape.

Please note that this is in the space of 48 hours. As a native LA person, you shrug your shoulders and think, well, that was a typical weekend.

Just two weekends ago here in Vienna, an Austrian woman was telling me and my LA friend N a story of how her brother got mugged. N and I gasped in horror and immediately asked if her brother was okay. The Austrian said no, the muggers took her brother’s mobile. N and I paused for a moment. N asked, “Did the muggers beat your brother up?”

The Austrian answered no. I asked if anything else was taken. The Austrian answered no. The muggers just took the mobile and left her brother with his wallet.

N and I looked at each other and started to roar with laughter! “Darling,” I explained, “if your brother didn’t end up in the hospital fighting for his life, that wasn’t a mugging.”

Another example. I was sitting at work and my two Austrian co-workers were talking about how a child was kidnapped in a mall in Salzburg. They were horrified. This sort of thing doesn’t happen in Austria.

One of my co-workers said her mother would leave her as a young child in the car as her mother went shopping really quickly. I almost choked. You never leave a child alone for a split second in LA.

I raised an eyebrow and explained to my Austrian co-workers. “When driving on the freeway in LA, you see electric boards flashing ‘Kidnapper driving white Toyota license plate number 13noq9532’ What do you want, it happens?”

Dear Austrians. Please realize that in comparison to LA, you live in a fairy tale world of safety and security that I can only envy.

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Okay, I know why I procrastinate.

Definition that I ripped off of Wikipedia: “Psychologists often cite such behavior as a mechanism for coping with the anxiety associated with starting or completing any task or decision.”

 It’s because I am scared to move in the direction that I know I must move in. The things I have to do seem like a huge challenge that I am reluctant to take on, because I think it is going to be painful to execute. Being an expat shoves these challenges into my face so often that I often feel overwhelmed, frustrated at the unfairness, and just give up.

But you know what happens when I take action? It usually isn’t as hard as I thought, and I am relieved and proud that I got it done.

There are only positives to getting rid of procrastination. So there. That’s the plan. GET IT DONE! This is my new philosophy.

Wish me luck. Now I have to go do the things that I have been pushing off.

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http://realestate.msn.com/slideshow.aspx?cp-documentid=24431564&GT1=35006

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