Op-Expat

I really like being married to a man who grew up in a different culture than me. We have very fun discussions because of it. A lot of it revolves around, “How did you grow up?” “Did you do this as a kid?” “What was it like…”

Our latest discussion went like this. We were watching TV and saw an ad for the upcoming 2010 movie “Alice in Wonderland.” I asked my husband, “Have you ever seen the old Disney movie?” and he said no. Then I asked, “Do you know the storyline behind it?” His answer was no.

How crazy is that!?! He doesn’t know the classic tale of “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland.” Though I have read the classic version of both this story and the sequel, “Through the Looking-Glass,” I had more fun explaining in great detail the Disney movie. I even broke out in song, “A very merry unbirthday to you! To me? To you!” My husband laughed like crazy.

This is how we spend our time together. It’s a lot of fun.

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Apparently Spring has changed its mind about when it wants to come to Vienna, Austria. It’s going to be a cold weekend with a little snow. *Sigh* But I don’t care. Last week I bought a potted tulip to celebrate Spring and help me get over the winter blues, which I blogged about here Beating the Winter Blues in Vienna

I am still immensely pleased with my potted tulip.

Potted Tulips in Vienna

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Hurray! The Stuttgarter Zeitung wrote a little article about my expat business www.taschenhalter.at

Taschenhalter in the Stuttgartner Zeitung

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Ah finally the light at the end of the winter tunnel. Vienna has been enjoying some nice spring-like weather the last few days and it is refreshing my soul’s batteries.

The last two, maybe three months have been pretty rough though. Not much sunshine and very cold weather. If it’s below freezing, I’m pretty cranky.

So how do I keep my chin up and beat the winter blues?

First I think about other places in the world. For example, the northeast in America right now. Yet another huge snowstorm. Those people are just half way through their winter, and we’re already making it out from ours. I just think, “Wow, I can’t complain about the winters in Vienna if this is as bad as they get. Clearly it’s a lot uglier in other places.”

Second, during the dark winter, I light candles like crazy in my apartment to add some warm light to my environment.

Third, I get the hell out of Vienna. I ignore the whole Christmas break thing because I hate to travel when everyone else is. Too hectic at the airport and too expensive. Also, my co-workers are grateful that I am not competing for the time off. I offer to hold the fort instead. But come February, a low season for travel, I take advantage of all the vacation time offered from work, and flee to someplace warm. That’s what I was doing in Puerto Rico for 10 days. I came back glowing and happy because of the sun, warmth, and water. Then two weeks later, spring-like weather in Vienna.

So how do you beat the winter blues?

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The issue of smoking in Vienna and all over in Austria is a big deal for me. The fact that smoking is still allowed indoors is beyond my comprehension. It was outlawed in California starting in 1990. That’s 20 years ago!

I am a non-smoker. Always have been and always will be. I don’t know a single Californian who smokes. I move to Vienna and almost everyone does it. Being accustomed to a non-smoking environment and then moving to Vienna is a shock. People light up and I reel back in disgust. The smell is so incredibly offensive.

The smell of cigarette smoke is bad, but the direct effects of others bad habits on me really upsets me. I go to a restaurant and can’t enjoy my food because all I can smell is smoke. My eyes burn. I feel nauseous. I feel as if I don’t get enough air.

When I come home, I reek of it. My hair, my clothes, and I swear I can feel it on my skin. I jump in the shower like a crazy person and scrub down. I throw all of my clothes in the washing machine just to alleviate myself of the offensive odor.

What’s worse is the arrogance of smokers. They have an attitude of, “To hell with you, I’ll smoke where I want when I want. It’s my right” I think the attitude comes from not understanding the bad impression smoking gives non-smokers.

As stated earlier. I reel back in disgust when I see someone light up.

Needless to say I am 100% for a ban on indoor smoking in Vienna and Austria. I’m not trying to tell people to stop smoking because it is their personal choice. What I want is for the vile habit of smoking to stop directly affecting me.

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Okay a weird comparison I know, but I make an effort to compare Vienna to every place that I go. Since I just got back from Puerto Rico, because god knows I had to escape this weather a bit, here goes:

Pros for Puerto Rico
Beautiful beaches
Warm weather
Ocean
Coffee to make a Viennese weep with pleasure
Cake to make a Viennese weep with pleasure
Salsa
Rainforest

Cons for Puerto Rico
Horrible traffic (worse than L.A.)
Horrible roads
People as cranky as the Viennese (it’s a tropical island, I don’t get it either)
Fatty food that didn’t taste good

Pros for Vienna
Beautiful city
Good food overall
Good roads
Ball season
The waltz
Public transportation

Cons for Vienna
Currently cold, horrible weather
No ocean!
No beach!

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One of the things that I find frustrating in Austria is starting friendships with Austrians. They seem to have an attitude of, “What the hell do you want?” when you show some interest and extend an invitation of some sort. I often feel rebuffed when making a light inquiry like going to coffee together.

I think that was one of the reasons for the Starbucks success in the United States. When starting a new friendship in Los Angeles, an invitation to meet up at Starbucks was clearly understood. It read, “I like you and might be interested in a friendship. Let’s see if we are compatible over a cup of coffee.” This worked because a cup of coffee at Starbucks is considered a minor investment of time. It allowed both parties to either stay an hour and realize that there is no potential and go, or stay three hours because the persons understood each other so well.

When I first moved here, I tried to stay away from the American circles. I thought, “I’m here and want to integrate into this culture. The best way to do that is be friends with Austrians.” Much to my frustration, I was regarded with suspicion. I backed away in surprise, thinking I had done something to offend.

When I realized that it was just the Austrian way and stopped taking it personally, I was quickly tired out by the feeling that I had to coax someone to be my friend. Like saying, “It’s okay little guy. I don’t bite. See, I’m not so scary.”
So now that I have become frustrated and worn out by the Austrian friendship hesitation..thing.. I have over the last year directed my efforts to fellow Americans. Within one meeting, I usually have a lunch date planned or a coffeehouse visit scheduled. It’s so easy! For example, just on Wednesday, I met another American woman for the first time. Tonight I am meeting up with her for dinner. We both know it is a casual get-together and don’t anticipate much but a good chat and a little companionship. If the situation grows to a friendship, then we both won something valuable. If it fizzles out, then it fizzles out. No hard feelings.

So here is my plea on the Austrians. If someone is extending a little friendship, think positive and accept the invitation. In my opinion, you can never have too many friends in this life.

friendship in austria

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I’ve been kicking this theory around in my head for quite awhile now, and am finally ready to write about it.

It comes back to the topic of people asking me how I could possibly leave L.A. in favor of Vienna. I always say it’s because I like it here. They always ask what it is exactly that I like.

This is one of the things that I really like about Vienna. People here are a lot more mellow than they are in L.A.

Los Angeles is populated with the best and brightest the world has to offer. Think about it. People all over the world have a fascination for L.A. Those who are the most ambitious, the hardest working, the brightest, are the ones who are gutsy enough to pack their bags and make their fortune else where. That could be other American who live in the  middle of  nowhere and don’t see the job opportunities that they want. That would be Chinese immigrants. Austrians. Cubans. Russians. Mexicans. People who look around and think, “I want more than what I see here.”

These people are the ones that move to cities like London, Tokyo, Hong Kong, New York, Los Angeles and other cities like them. They are the ones that are programmed somehow to always think, “I want more.” So when they land in L.A. they aren’t thinking, “I’ve made it.” They are thinking, “The work has just started.” The drive that these people have is constant and never ending.

That’s what I grew up with. That kind of attitude is what I always thought was the normal way of thinking and acting. Therefore, I was surrounded by people who never thought anything was really good enough. So I drove myself just as hard because that’s all I knew.

When I first came to Vienna and started working, I thought, “What is wrong with these people? How dare they go home so early.” Or I thought, “What do you mean hobby? Who has time for a hobby? My work is my hobby.” I looked at my co-workers and realized that they weren’t trying to one- up each other and thought, “Aren’t they afraid that they aren’t competitive enough in the work world? Aren’t they afraid that they are going to get fired?”

In L.A. you always have to be looking over your shoulder, wondering who is out there ready to push you out of your position. So you drive yourself to be better, faster, hard working than anyone else. Then the next person does the same thing, and the next, and the next, until everyone is utterly consumed by their need to stay competitive.

In Vienna, people don’t have this insane competition. That’s not to say in any way that this city isn’t filled with bright, ambitious people. It’s filled with people who know when to say enough is enough. Who can walk away after a good day of work and feel liked they did well.

I still work very hard because that’s just who I am. It’s an edge to my personality that I never want to lose. But the fear that drove me in L.A. from the out of proportion competition has stayed back in Los Angeles because my co-workers aren’t trying to one-up me. They are trying, and succeeding, to do a good day’s work, and then go home to a normal life. And for that, I am grateful.

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I don’t know what it is about this Vienna, but it energizes me in a way Los Angeles never did.

In L.A. I was always tired. Maybe it was the fast pace. Maybe it was the tough competition. Maybe it was sitting in traffic all the time. I don’t know, but LA just sucked energy from me.

Here in Vienna I feel like I can just go and go and go. Like the energizer bunny. Just not pink. Maybe it’s because I move more in Vienna. I use the public transportation all the time and I walk a lot. Maybe it’s being among people rather than caged away in my car. Maybe it’s being out and seeing that others are doing interesting things.

To be honest, maybe it’s just that Vienna is my kind of town. It’s smaller than L.A. and things aren’t so spread out and therefore, easier to get to. Vienna seems to be accessible. Though accessible, it still manages to be cultured and refined. It manages to say, “I have everything to offer that you could possibly want.”

Except for shopping. For that I have to go back to L.A.

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One of my favorite readers just sent me a personal email in regards to the thoughts my blog and other expats have inspired in him. I’ve posted his thoughts in the past on my blog because I think he makes really good points. Also, I think it is fair to post an Austrian view point. Below you’ll see his comments.

Helimax, his user name, is making a reference to my first ever blog post Fashion – Or the Lack Thereof The rest of his thoughts seem to be something he just wanted to share with us.

Hi Britta!

I was just talking to a friend about Austrians and I thought I should write my thoughts down for you. Maybe you can use them in your blog.

One of the major differences to eg. France or the US is that thereare no ‘ghettos’ – of course there some neighborhoods with more immigrants from ex-Yugoslavia, Turkey, etc.. and some with more poorpeople and some with less and so on, but it is still mixed up. And people don’t stay in their neighborhood. Poor people got to Kärtnertstrasse and native Austrians go to Brunnenmarkt for fresh vegetables etc..

This leads to some points you mentioned in your blog. eg. bad-dressed people. Lower educated or poor people usually dress differently (may call it ‘not so good’). but eg. in Paris you will not see them – they stay in their banlieue. Dress code and knowing how to dress is mainly depending on the social status. So of course in Vienna’s 1st or 19th district the people are generally better dressed, but there are a lot of non-good-dressed people because there are no social- or other barriers for the people with lower status to enter these areas.

Another – for me – big difference between US and Austria is the definition of social-status. In the US money is a big status-factor. In Austria people with money are always ’suspicious’ – ‘where do theyhave the money from?’ ‘is it legal?’ or if you borne with money -everybody thinks you got no problems and anything comes to you without work. In general money is only accepted if someone works really hard for it and is known for doing so – anything else is socially not accepted. that’s why only few people drive really expensive cars. The real rich don’t do it, because the don’t want to be recognized and don’twant to be socially unaccepted. Only the ‘Neureiche’ show their wealthand got therefor a really bad reputation.

On the other side in Austria, reputation is defined by titles, that’s why they are so important. But there are also differences. ‘Real’ titles from universities esp. Mag.,Dipl.Ing. and Dr. have a high reputation because you had to work for some years to earn it. Bachelor, FH-titles, etc.. got quite low reputation. Honorary titles are seen in the mid-range, because you must have done something to get them.

To get back to clothing: if you got a title you don’t have to dress good to show your status. That’s another reason why dressing is considered not so important in Austria.

Some – maybe confusing – thoughts collected from my chat with a non-Austrian friend.

Greetings from the snowy mountains and a happy new year!

Helimax

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